"Make dating and marriage a high priority. Seek a companion who is worthy to go to the temple to be sealed to you for time and all eternity."
-For the Strength of Youth
As awkward as it sounds, this is actually a really interesting topic for me! Maybe that's just because I'm still single, but I think this information can be valuable to everyone.
First, let's talk about dating. For those of you older folds, have you noticed that dating has changed drastically over the years? It really has, and not necessarily in a good way. Back in the day, dating was all about having fun and getting to know different people. Once you found someone you really liked and had gone on a few dates with, you generally started "courting". This is when you've fully committed to that person. You continue to go on dates, but now you're "boyfriend and girlfriend". Next, as the relationship gets more serious, you would get engaged. And then the final step is marriage. Those are very important steps that people followed to help get to know someone before marrying.
Now let's contrast that dating with present day. Now dating has about the same meaning as courting. People rarely go on dates when they're dating, they mostly just hang out together. You might think that that's just fine, and it can be. But true dating is when you go and do something that is planned, not just hanging out and talking about what you want to do. Then, they jump to engagement and get married as fast as they can. Do these people know each other at all? Maybe. However, they probably don't know each other nearly well enough to get married. It seems that in the modern day people are just sliding through those steps to get to marriage as fast as they can. This isn't healthy! No wonder there is such a high divorce rate! If we could all just slow down and enjoy each other's company we would have much healthier relationships.
Then there's the opposite side of the spectrum. Some people just don't date at all! There are a number of reasons for this, but Elder Oaks lists just four in his talk "Dating Versus Hanging Out".
The first reason is, "The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships". I already discussed this at length in my earlier blog post, "Family, is it Important?" Basically, the world today has just stopped caring about families and marriage. The divorce rates have soared, abortion is a widely accepted decision, the very definition of marriage has changed. And with this increased negativity toward family, dating has slowly gone extinct.
The second reason is, "The leveling effect of the women's movement has contributed to discourage dating". Because men have seen women becoming more and more empowered, they have slowly stopped asking them on dates. This could be from fear of being rejected, or it could be from the fear of someone seeing them a "male chauvinist". Basically, the guys have just stopped asking out the girls, and this has led to dating going out of style.
Elder Oaks goes more into detail about these reasons as well as others in his talk, so I would encourage you to go listen to it.
To end, I just wanted to extend a challenge to whoever decides to read this post. For all those who are single, I would like to challenge you to go find one date with someone. They don't have to be attractive, and this date doesn't mean you're committed to them forever. Just plan a fun activity and go have fun together. Get to know one another, don't just hang out. And for the rest of you who are married, I encourage you to plan a date together. Make it fun and simple, something you can use to get to know one another better. Because even if you feel like you know someone, you can always learn something new.
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