The Art of Loving

"Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home."

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to be when I grow up. The thing that interests me most right now is becoming a family therapist. I love the idea of listening to others and helping them figure out solutions. This week I learned some techniques that therapists can use to help families become closer. My favorite one is the art of hugging.

Let me give an example of this to help you understand.

A son is having a very hard time with depression and thoughts of suicide. The mother has taken him to numerous therapists, but none of them have helped. She finally makes an appointment with a family therapist in the hopes that this will be the last one. He gets information from both the mother and the son and then brings them both in together. He talks to them for awhile, and then throws out an idea. He tells them to just hug each other for awhile. They both get up and just sit there, hugging each other. After a while they come apart, and the therapist tells them to practice this at home until their next session. When they come back the next week, the son has completely changed. He is happier, he is kinder, and he is doing better in school. All because he and his mother learned to show physical affection.

This shocks me. Just the simple idea of showing physical affection helped to heal this boy who had struggled with depression for most of his life. How powerful is that! At first it amazes me that this wasn't something practiced often in his home. But then I reflected on my family, and I realized, I don't practice that enough in my home. The only reason I've hugged my family this past year is just to say goodbye or because we haven't seen each other in a long time. How long has it been since I've said I love you, and truly meant it? How long has it been since I hugged my siblings just because? It just hurts my heart to realize all the moments I've missed. All the problems and fights I could've solved just by giving them a hug.

It just hurts that I'm living so far away and I can't be there with my family. We struggle a lot with our family situation, and I think it could get so much better if there were more hugs and "I love you"s.

Now I just wanted to switch gears a little bit, and talk about our genders. That is a very complicated topic in the world right now. But our genders are oh so important. We have divine roles because of the divine qualities that we were given in the premortal realm. I am so very thankful to be a daughter of God. Especially after this wonderful women's session of general conference that we just got to watch and listen to. I absolutely loved President Nelson's talk. I loved how he said, "Let me be very clear about this. If the world loses the moral rectitude of its women, the world will never recover". And the opening line of the new Young Women theme: "I am a daughter heavenly parents, with a divine and eternal destiny". I just love being a girl!!

Now I'm not saying girls rule the world, or that they're better than guys. Because that's just not true. Men are just as important as women. I watched an older BYUI devotional by Tim Rarick about fatherhood the other day, and I was very impressed with how important fathers are. I loved how he said, "Men, you are to complement and complete women, not just the other way around. Remember the second half of the apostle Paul's declaration: "Neither is the woman without the man in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 11:1)". Both genders are just as important and essential to our exaltation.

I'd like to leave with a challenge and a testimony. I want to challenge you to show your love to your families. Hug them! Say I love you more often, and mean it! Spend time with them. I know that this will help your relationships improve. I know that our genders are important to the plan of salvation. I know that your gender helps you fulfill your roles in families. I know that our Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us, and our divine characteristics that come from our gender. Love yourself!! You were created this way for a reason! I am so thankful for my family, and I can't wait to practice the art of loving!

Men are That They Might be Fathers