"Clearly God's greatest concerns regarding mortality are how one gets into this world and how one gets out of it."
-Elder Jeffery R. Holland
Sexual intimacy, the most awkward topic ever. But, also the most important. So, like Elder Holland once said, "If I am not careful and you are not supportive, this subject can slide quickly from the sacred into the merely sensational". I hope you will approach this with maturity as I attempt to write about this sacred topic.
First, let's talk about the law of chastity. This is such an important law I don't think we fully understand. For the Strength of Youth states that we need to avoid anything that could lead to sexual transgression. This includes passionate kissing, lying on top of one another, and touching the sacred, private parts of another person. Something that I've come to realize is that there really isn't any specific line drawn when it comes to the law of chastity, and that can be really confusing. That is why it is so important to talk to Heavenly Father about this sacred subject. He will let you know what is ok, and what is not ok. Something important to remember is that when deciding what line you will draw for chastity, you shouldn't be thinking about how close to the line you can get, but how far you should stay from the line. That thought, and more interesting insights, is illustrated in the video "Chastity: What are the Limits?".
Next I just wanted to talk about fidelity in marriage. Because that is really the other half of the law of chastity that not many people remember. Fidelity means, "Faithfulness to a person...demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support". Infidelity is such a serious topic, because it is such a big problem in the world today. So why do people cheat on their spouse? Well, the main reason is pornography.
Before I go more into detail about infidelity, I want you to think about something for a minute. Would you rather listen to a live performance of your favorite band on stage with them, or listen to the digital version on your couch? Now think about that in terms of pornography. The digital version, the one that can be edited as much as you want, represents pornography. The live version, with all the passion and feeling and beautiful mistakes, represents those sexual relations you have with your spouse. Wouldn't you rather have the live version? But so many people are choosing the fake version that leads to high and unrealistic expectations. That is why so many people struggle with fidelity. They are searching for the unattainable perfect person. If you are struggling with pornography, please find help. Seek the counsel of your bishop. That is what he is there for, to help you repent and become better through the Atonement of Christ.
Something else I just wanted to touch on is how to help children after their father or mother makes a decision to go against the law of chastity. Not that my mom struggled with fidelity, or that she committed any sins, but I did go through something similar. I wanted to share just a portion of my story today, and I hope you will feel the spirit as I write.
About a year ago, my whole world was turned upside down. My mom left my dad, me, and my siblings to deal with the emotional trauma that followed. I had looked up to my mom until that point. She was my best friend, I talked to her about everything. And suddenly, this mother that I had known for years was cut out of my life, and a stranger seemed to be attempting to take her place. I was lost and confused, and I'm not going to lie, I hated her. For a long time, I couldn't get over how she'd ruined my life. I thought I would never see the light of day again. But, slowly and surely, with the loving guidance of an understand Father in Heaven, I began to heal. I'm not saying I've completely forgiven my mom, but I certainly don't hate her anymore. But something that I think is important to remember is that I had to go through that process on my own. I had to learn to love again. No one could force me to love my mom right away. I had to struggle and learn with the love and support of others. That's how you teach children to deal with a parent who struggles with the law of chastity. You must let them learn on their own, but always be there to catch them when they fall.
About a year ago, my whole world was turned upside down. My mom left my dad, me, and my siblings to deal with the emotional trauma that followed. I had looked up to my mom until that point. She was my best friend, I talked to her about everything. And suddenly, this mother that I had known for years was cut out of my life, and a stranger seemed to be attempting to take her place. I was lost and confused, and I'm not going to lie, I hated her. For a long time, I couldn't get over how she'd ruined my life. I thought I would never see the light of day again. But, slowly and surely, with the loving guidance of an understand Father in Heaven, I began to heal. I'm not saying I've completely forgiven my mom, but I certainly don't hate her anymore. But something that I think is important to remember is that I had to go through that process on my own. I had to learn to love again. No one could force me to love my mom right away. I had to struggle and learn with the love and support of others. That's how you teach children to deal with a parent who struggles with the law of chastity. You must let them learn on their own, but always be there to catch them when they fall.
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